I am a white Jew. I have numerous black, Hispanic and Asian-American friends. I am absolutely disgusted that I have to cite that fact in order to prove I am a good person. I am ashamed of this paragraph I have written.
In a nutshell, that is how I feel about diversity. To me, it is this social construct that looks right, feels right, probably is right, but I really don't understand it. What is diversity? Can it really solve all the racial, gender and sexual preference tensions I know exist on this campus? Those tensions are certainly tangible. Is diversity?
Why should I be a bad person for feeling comfortable around the people most like me? Isn't that natural? I have absolutely no hang-ups about having friends different from me. Hell, that's not even something I think about. If I click with you and you click with me, what else is there? Should I totally abandon my comfort zone and only seek out people who are radically different from me? Why? Is that the point of friendships now, diverse discomfort?
On the other hand, I reread that last paragraph and feel like David Duke. How can I learn about life and humanity if I make myself a cultural hermit? Isn't that discomfort I feel a symptom of a larger problem? Everyone is a human being, regardless of skin, genitalia or sexual preference, so I should be able to rub elbows comfortably with any member of the human race. Diversity makes me a more rounded person, a more enlightened person, a better person. My same-seeking social inclination must be a character defect.
Or is it? What about cultural heritage? The Jewish Student Union, Black Student Union, Vietnamese Student Union, Asian American Student Union, Latino Student Union and American Indian Student Union are all legitimate and lauded student organizations. No one thinks that any of these groups are bigoted or ignorant. Then again, no one thinks that these organizations are diverse either. Should I take pride in my heritage? Am I closing myself off to the greater human race by embracing my culture and those who share it?
With all the racist garbage being dumped on our campus, it really feels like a war is on. So many are quick to charge that we must take sides and immediately mobilize the effort to become supremely multicultural. But what about those of us caught in the middle? Before the noose and swastikas, I didn't think I was racist or sexist. I didn't cross the street at the sight of an ethnic minority. I didn't choose friends based on skin color or partner preference. I just felt like a normal guy. I had a lot of friends who were like me because they were like me and because it was easy to make friends with them. I also had some friends who weren't like me, because they were Yankee fans or liked the All American Rejects or couldn't stand Carlos Mencia and because it was also easy to make friends with them. Diversity never entered the equation for me.
It's not that I don't want to grow and become a better person. I would love to be a 21st-century enlightened man. I don't want to be characterized as some sort of social caveman. But it doesn't feel right. I don't feel out of touch with modern society just because I'm not a shining beacon of diversity. I don't understand why making friends with only common interests and personalities in mind is outmoded. I don't recognize how I'm not a complete person based on the friends I keep.
I am conflicted and confused. Frankly, I want to be a good person just like everyone else. I also want to be able to choose who my friends are without the burden of social expectations. I don't know what the exact answer is, but I know the answer is not to pour guilt on myself until I make diverse friends.
Think about it yourself. Are most of your friends just like you? Does that make you a bad person?
Daniel Kobrin is a senior government and politics major. He can be reached at dkobrin@umd.edu.
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