Lite Fare: Mourning Wawa

As an era comes to a close here in College Park, we would like to acknowledge the experiences and lessons we've all learned in the fine establishment known as Wawa. We all have fond memories of the many drunken sandwich-building experiences, the after-bar brawls, and grabbing that bag of potato chips as the orange Shuttle-UM bus pulls around the corner. A little piece of us all will die the day Wawa officially closes its doors for good, and leaves us with only 7-11.

Lesson 1: Jalapeño peppers are not a good topping to be consumed after a night out at the bar. Sure, after a few beers and several shots, breaded jalepeño peppers might seem like a phenomenal idea. But when you munch away on the shuttle, by the time you get home, you're puking them up, and it was a solid, sickening waste of three dollars.

Lesson 2: The women's bathroom is an excellent place to consume massive quantities of potato chips without being detected. Go ahead ladies, take your boyfriend into Wawa for a quick Gatorade, grab a bag of sour cream and onion chips, sneak into the stall and eat to your heart's content. When your boyfriend asks you if you're hungry, you can retain your lady-like appetite and he will never know you gorged yourself in the bathroom. Make sure to wipe those crumbs away before you leave, though.

Lesson 3: If you are trying to avoid seeing old flings from freshman year, avoid the back aisles at all costs. They do not facilitate quick escapes, nor do they offer reasonable excuses for distraction. Nobody is going to buy the fact that you are so involved in the pretzels-or-chips decision that you cannot catch up a little, especially the creepy guy you accidentally made out with on Shuttle-UM after rushing that sorority that never gave you a bid.

Lesson 4: Never underestimate the benefits of befriending the loyal Wawa staff. First of all, they can give you some pointers on how best to work the store's awkward structure of cashier lines. Once in their good graces, you can be sure that your breakfast sandwich will be sufficiently loaded. An extra bacon, egg and cheese, though entirely not healthy, is a good deal for simply being nice.

Lesson 5: For those young men who rush fraternities, you will come to know the inner workings of Wawa intimately. You'll be on runs for condoms, a chicken sandwich with no tomatoes, ice cream or milk. And when you come home with the wrong sandwich, with the wrong condoms, or your fraternity brother decides he wants something different, you'll memorize those aisles to more efficiently shop for your "big brother." Over and over again.

Lesson 6: Stock up early. Because, while this may shock you, you are not the only one who gets drunk and craves Wawa. In fact, if you don't, we can't legitimately call you a college student. After last call, the next stop for most bar patrons is indeed Wawa, whether it's for a quick bathroom break, or a super-stacked chicken and onion sandwich. Standing up is hard enough when you're drunk; standing up in a line can be close to impossible.