SCHIMMEL: So... what was that?

CHARLOTTESVILLE Va. - That was an embarrassment.

Through 60 sloppy, disgustingly inept minutes Saturday night, the Terrapin football team transformed from a flawed but hopeful ACC contender to an incompetent bunch that didn't belong on the same field as a very mediocre Virginia team.

The Terps did nothing right in the Cavaliers' 31-0 beatdown, and now they have two full weeks to think about the debacle before a much better Wake Forest team comes to Byrd Stadium.

The Terps need to remember Saturday's game. They need to be angry.

"It really wasn't about X's and O's," an ashen coach Ralph Friedgen said after the game. "It was about who came to play and who didn't."

As the big goose egg it put up on the scoreboard indicates, the Terps' offense certainly did not come to play Saturday.

The offensive line got manhandled, and it could not get any push to help establish a running game.

Quarterback Chris Turner was often rushed, and when he was able to throw the ball, there was rarely anybody open in space to throw it to. Not that he could have hit a receiver in stride the way he was throwing, anyway.

Turnovers and dumb penalties killed any minor drives the Terps were able to get going, and the entire unit looked completely lost.

And this was against Virginia, a team that gave up 382 rushing yards to Connecticut. The Cavaliers allowed 31 points to Duke. Yeah, Duke.

"Sometimes, nights like this happen," Turner said. "What are you going to do?"

But as incredible as it may sound, the Terps were just as bad on defense.

They let young quarterback Marc Verica pick them apart, and they occasionally made Cedric Peerman, a decent running back on most days, look like a Heisman candidate.

The Terps got no pressure, had no coverage and couldn't consistently stop the run. Other than that, they did OK.

The Cavaliers scored four touchdowns in their first four games this season. They scored three in the first half Saturday.

"They ran pretty much what we expected, but they just executed to a tee," cornerback Kevin Barnes said. "We didn't execute on our part."

Special teams were laughable, too.

When Obi Egekeze basically whiffed on his onside kick attempt to start the second half, the much-maligned kicker's season - which had been starting to turn around - reached a new low.

When Egekeze overran his dribbler that barely moved at all, he looked like Kramer trying to drive golf balls into the ocean on Seinfeld, looking down in shock that the ball was still resting near his feet.

"Personally, for me, I was shocked," Barnes said. "I mean, it didn't even go 5 yards."

After hearing laughter from the media interviewing him, Barnes solemnly noted that "It wasn't funny at the time."

The Terps' sad sack performance rejuvenated an entire hopeless Cavalier fanbase.

Before the game, Cavs fans tailgated in the parking lot wearing T-shirts reading, 'Groh Must Go,' an ode to their perceived-to-be overmatched coach.

By the fourth quarter, the fans were practically dancing in the aisles of Scott Stadium, starting the wave and gleefully laughing it up after another feeble Terps' play went in their favor.

"I don't think anybody had seen this coming," center Edwin Williams said. "But they deserved to win that game."

Saturday was easily the Terps' worst performance in recent memory.

That game was a joke.

They need to get better.

schimmeldbk@gmail.com