Moving beyond fear

[Editor's note: The last names of sexual assault victims in the following article are withheld due to the sensitive nature of the crimes.]

Some know it immediately; for others, it takes time — lots of time.

Five local women related their life-altering and often graphic accounts of the moment they first experienced acts of sexual assault and the moment they realized how much those experiences had changed them. Often, it took months or even years for these women to come to terms with what they had been through.

"I never told anybody," said Linda, a victim of rape. "I stayed silent. ... It wasn't until recently that I realized I hadn't been living life fully."

Community members, Prince George's County officials, police and University Health Center officials joined victims last night in the county's eighth annual Take Back the Night event, which allows women to break the silence about issues such as rape, sexual assault and domestic violence. Although the event was advertised on the university's freestuff.umd.edu website and around the campus, no students turned out for the program, which was held in Cheverly, outside the Prince George's County Hospital Center.

Allison Bennett, coordinator of this university's Sexual Assault Response and Prevention Program, said she and health center Director Sacared Bodison attended to show solidarity between the university and the community. Bennett said she wished students had attended, and Bodison noted it's important for the university community to support the Sexual Assault Center at the hospital as the program has always been willing to help the university.

"We send students who are victims to SAC because they have the equipment and staff to examine the forensic evidence," Bodison said. "It's a resource as well as a good partnership."

Arnita Shelton, a forensic nurse at the hospital, said she has treated students from this university following sexual abuses.

"I have been a nurse here for eight years and have done quite a few exams from college students at the University of Maryland," Shelton said. "The ones I have done are extremely traumatic and are generally considered date rape. [The victims] really feel it was their fault — they shouldn't have had that drink, shouldn't have left with him, etc. ... The main thing we want them to know is it's not their fault."

Sexual Assault Center representatives said the ultimate goal is to decrease the number of sexual assaults — at least in the immediate area.

The five victims who chose to speak shared their uniquely terrible experiences in personal ways, from reciting poems to reading official statistics to recounting the events in monologue form.

"Sexual abuse is the silent epidemic," said Jan, a rape victim. "One in eight women are sexually abused in Maryland. Nationally, one in four women and one in six men are sexually abused. ... Every two minutes someone is getting hurt."

All the women emphasized the length of time it takes to get over being abused. For some, it took decades for them to accept that their experience was sexual abuse. Linda works at the center and had for a number of years before she sought help.

She told her story at a lectern, standing before T-shirts decorated by victims. Throughout the presentations, several audience members cried openly as others quietly wiped their tears.

Linda said the night she was raped began at a nightclub with friends. She said she was wearing "a typical going-out outfit: short skirt, little top and high heels." After realizing she had forgotten some of her belongings inside, she left her group of friends to get them. After declining a manager's offer to walk her to her car, a man approached her, asking for a light.

"When I held it up, he blew it out and grabbed my wrist, at the same time putting a hand over my mouth. He and his buddy raped me," she said. "Then the manager came out, and I scared them away when I screamed. He offered to call the police, but all I could do was shake my head. A few days before, one of my best friends had been raped, and when she reported it, she was made to feel like it was her fault for dressing as she did. I just couldn't deal with that."

Students hold their own Take Back the Night event tonight in Stamp Student Union from 5 to 8. Linda said the issue is an especially important one for students to be aware of — according to the U.S. Justice Department, one in every five college-age women will be sexually assaulted before they graduate. Of those women, statistics show only 5 percent will report the incidents as crimes. Linda said this is typical of victims, who often live in denial or hardly live at all.

"You can only live so much after it happens," Linda said. "It's like you're living in a vacuum. And with this issue, who wants to talk about it? Students need to be aware. It's the only way to help."

romas at umdbk dot com