Underclassmen: High fives must be earned

Student orientation reminds me of early childhood when I wanted to look cooler than everyone at the local roller-skating rink. I had the slickest skates, the best hair and some money to throw towards nachos when I needed a break from holding my date's sweaty hand. I was cool in my own right, but my top-of-the-line roller blades never opened any doors for me.

That is one thought I've kept with me for years: Trying to be too cool results in your life becoming a trend — you might have had fun while it lasted, but no one cares anymore. Preventing this from happening is what separates the young from the old here in College Park. While freshman ignorance is riddled with stupid attempts at being cool, upperclassmen always have the clear advantage of knowing what is actually cool. It's not hard to spot a freshman pulling some stupid stunt or acting cocky, but it's even more obvious during orientation.

One of these lesser-breeds did just that after soliciting a high five from me on my walk to work. Knowing their strength lies in numbers, I moved slightly off the path to let the orientation crew pass by. Nearing the end of the herd, some Jersey Shore fan boy vocally announced, "Epic handshake, dude!" as he got closer. Immediately, I noticed he was trying to impress the girl next to him and made sure not to let our palms touch. I was more concerned with contracting a disease than anything else.

Deep down, I really wanted to give the kid a high five. He was just a fellow Terp looking for support, and I was arrogant enough to deny him school pride. However, my actions were justified. Earning respect at this school requires a little more effort than showing off during orientation. Especially if all you do is nag an upperclassman for a bro-five. The real proving ground is freshman year, not some overnight camp.

Walking past the herds of orientation students made me wonder — either something is in their juice boxes causing them to think they've somehow conquered the game of college, or most of them really are just high-minded teenagers with little to no life skills. Whatever the case may be, once school begins, this campus will be flooded with upperclassmen who consistently don't give a shit about the freshman class. It's not that we hate our new students, but if they disrespect us they'll end up with a broken nose.

I understand, orientation is an exciting time to meet and impress the people you'll be spending the next four years with. On top of this, you are becoming more familiar with the campus and its resources. This should be the primary thought of every orientation student, not marking social territory. I'm not worried, though. Two months from now, no one will be so chipper.

Jason Kramer is a senior American studies major. He can be reached at kramer at umdbk dot com.