College Park summer: Night on the ghost town

This summer, I've realized what a small world College Park is, because I can't go to 7-Eleven to pathetically buy three tubs of ice cream and rent Shutter Island from Redbox without running into at least six people I know and actually remember meeting. This is a blessing and a curse because I recently tripped over a large yellow lab outside of Chipotle and have four witnesses who feel the need to make fun of me until the end of time ("Hey, watch out for that curb, Bethany.") Even the dog's owner thought it was hilarious, so it must have been funny, because I basically kicked his dog, and usually people frown upon that.

When I told a freshman friend I was staying in College Park for the summer, he looked at me like I had committed some kind of blasphemy. "It'll be a ghost town," he commented. I tried to explain that it's a fun ghost town, where I can actually find parking, there's no line at Chipotle, and the campus isn't like a wind tunnel. What he didn't understand is that it's a beautiful alternate universe, purely populated by upperclassmen doing responsible things such as interning at law firms and going to dollar pitcher night at Thirsty Turtle. When else can you take three days off to go to an Ocean City trailer park, sneak into a swim-up pool bar and accidentally hit a toddler in the face with a Frisbee on the beach?

The other thing about this summer is the 2010 FIFA World Cup, which gives acquaintances free rein to trash talk as I walk by wearing my English flag cape (I'm English). It also means I get questions such as, "When did they change the English flag? It looks funny." Seriously? England. Britain. Two different flags. Now's a good time to tell you that the words "English" and "British" are not always interchangeable. I've met unusually large gatherings of Brits at the bars lately, so try to remember that one when you're five beers deep.

Unfortunately, the World Cup has brought out some kind of patriotism I never knew I had, wherein I actually know the players' names and don't just comment on David Beckham's latest haircut. (Beckham employed the stank face throughout the game, even during the parts when the Englishmen were kicking Americans in the chest, face and shins. So, most parts.) That game was the worst, only worsened by my phone delivering me the New York Post's next-day headline of, "USA WINS! 1-1." I don't care if you think I'm a bandwagon fan, because if you say you watch competitive swimming any other time than the Olympics, you're a goddamn liar.

I've even managed to travel into Washington lately, which I never do during the semester.

On Thursdays, there are half-price sangria pitchers in Chinatown, which culminated in my friends and I running up a $140 tab. Luckily, the restaurant's computers went down, and they literally told us to "Just leave without paying." I can't make this stuff up. So we left a $45 tip and skipped back to College Park with the kind of glee only two basically free pitchers of sangria each can bring you.

So there you have it. College Park and its surrounding areas — minus the parts where people rob Bible-study groups — are awesome. H.A.G.S.

Bethany Wynn is a senior French and sociology major. She can be reached at wynn at umdbk dot com.