Cover letters: I might be dating myself

Since graduation, I have spent most of my time job hunting. However, that sweet, elusive paycheck always seems to just evade my grasp. It might be because most entry-level jobs require too much experience. How am I supposed to get experience if I can't get experience because I don't have enough experience?

Or it could be because of my cover letters. Cover letters scare me, and they should scare you, too. I'll tell you why. I know the secret. It's because they're akin to an online dating profile. Really, how many people are good at those? Both make you try to sell yourself in a limited space and are the only representation that the potential match will see, and thus everything — I mean EVERYTHING — is riding on this one shortened description of who you are and why you're qualified enough to be the right choice.

The format of both is basically the same with slight differences. For cover letters, you should specify the position for which you're applying, but with dating profiles, it's understood that you're applying for the position of date or future-love-interest. Otherwise, both still need to start off with an intriguing fact or opening to make the reader want to continue — something interesting and beckoning but not too lascivious, because you want to come off as classy, not trashy.

In a dating profile, that's frequently along the lines of, "I'm awesome, and let me tell you why" or, "Writing about myself isn't something that comes naturally, and I've never done a dating profile before, but don't doubt my awesomeness because … " or, "I'm not awesome, but you should still date me."

A cover letter is harder because it can't be as creative, but you still have to be artful. It's a hard skill that I'm still mastering. So, it should read something along the lines of, "My name is Sir Reginald Farnsworth, and I would like to be considered for the position of Senior Vice President of Mushroom Development. I have a doctorate in mushroomology and have been a world crusader for mushroom rights for the past 12 years."

After that you're supposed to list your qualifications and end on a positive note that begs the reader to respond. With dating profiles, that's easy. Something flirty and fun along the lines of, "You should message me if you enjoy playful banter, banjo, bagpipe and organ trios, and if kelp is your favorite sandwich topper." But cover letters are harder. A cover letter ending isn't as stressful. It's more like "As Senior Vice President of Mushroom Development, I could better serve the mushroom industry by creating a healthier public option."

And then comes the wait. It's easier with a dating profile because you can see who views you and have a somewhat easier time understanding if or when someone will respond to your message or if they liked you enough to write back. A callback for a job application?

Well, that's harder to wait for. It's a lot of waiting and hoping, with a lot more riding on it. A reply to a message on a dating site might feel good. But I'll let you know how a callback from a job feels when I get one.

Shruti Rastogi graduated in May with a degree in journalism. She can be reached at rastogi at umdbk dot com.