Graduate in four years or get drunk trying

In this campaign season we frequently hear, "Let's make Obama a one-term president" from many Republican organizations. My question is, why aren't we, as college students, calling for something similar?

And yes, from that introduction — and my history of socially, fiscally and in all other relevant ways conservative columns — you might anticipate this to be a political column. Instead, I offer you a question inspired by collegiate graduation statistics: When did college become not a four-year institution, but a five, six or other-numbered one?

There are exceptions to every rule. Times are tough, jobs are scarce, majors change and sometimes it takes a while to figure out your future. But if you do not have any of the aforementioned issues, I beg of you: What are you still doing here?

Mathematically and logically, college as a four-year institution makes sense. There are educational programs that of course do not agree with this four-year plan — such as engineering tracks and extraordinary double-major programs — but excluding these and others of similar caliber, students should be able to graduate within four years.

The real problem (brace yourself for the social conservatism again) is students somehow see partying like it's 1999 on weeknights as part of the essential college experience. Students don't want to take certain classes that will help them graduate on time because that may push them over — gasp —12 credits. Or make them wake up at 8 a.m. Or — God forbid — may force them to learn something.

Ah, the traps of the world: truly growing our minds in college; actually working at our jobs; not getting trashed every time we drink; not having sex with someone just because we find them attractive and know their last name. These are difficult times in which to live.

You know what though? I have faith in our generation to turn these dastardly ways around. So what if college graduation rates are now measured in the eight-year spectrum? So what if many popular degrees are now being examined to determine whether they are actually useless? We can turn this around.

Stop taking classes just because they are supposed to be easy (this also easily backfires, as ourumd.com is not the most accurate of measures). Stop letting your social life dictate your class schedule. Stop texting in class (I'm pretty sure the professors see you but decide to let you schmuck away your education because they get paid regardless).

We all know I have the answer to life, the universe and everything else (42, in case you wondered), so here's my final point: It's time to start pulling your weight. Knock it into that sheltered brain of yours that college is not a free ride (unless you're brilliant and on full scholarship, in which case: props). There ain't no such thing as a free lunch —so get to paying for yours.

Laura Frost is a junior government and politics and journalism major. She can be reached at frost@umdbk.com.