Skirt day: The only reason I'm still here

I think the winter of our discontent is finally over. After the worst winter ever experienced by man or beast, the sun rose the other day, and a warm glow came over the campus. For a lot of you, this time of year means midterms and spring break. But for me, the shining sun and chirping birds mean one thing.

Skirt Day.

In fact, I wrote this column Monday night and promptly went to bed with my pajamas inside-out because I had a sneaking suspicion that today, March 10, would be Skirt Day 2010. It should be a national holiday. I know I've given myself the day off. Because I am the grand marshal of Skirt Day.

For those of you who don't read the newspaper, like me, these pages were set ablaze two years ago by the controversy over a reader who sent in a letter declaring Skirt Day 2008 had passed. For Skirt Day 2009, I refused to let the subject die, chiming in with my own column. And now, because I love beating dead horses just as much as I love skirts, I'm going to champion Skirt Day 2010.

What makes Skirt Day great? Look around. It's officially warm enough for the lovely demographic of this university to show off the spring line. Skirt Day is a day of warmth, beauty and love. Sorry, I'm into those things. Sorry I'm not sorry.

This is college, so be real. College is all about superficial beauty. When else in our lives are we going to have hours and hours to work out and tan? And here's something you might not know: Our metabolisms peak during the college years, according to a scientific report I made up for the purposes of this paragraph.

And much like the common North American grizzly, we've spent the cold months in hibernation. You know what else has been in hibernation? Our collective sexy. Skirt Day is upon us now, and it's time to give it everything you've got.

Skirt Day, like anything great, has its share of haters. I'm 21 years old, you grumpy bumpies — I'm going to have enough time to get bitter and hate on everything for the rest of my life. Today is the day all the pretty girls on the campus have decided it's time to show off the gams, and I'm going to damn well enjoy it.

The last thing Skirt Day is about is hate. Skirt Day is a love fest of the highest order. It's the day when you look around and you thank whatever God you believe in for where you are in life. If anyone's too serious about this stuff — now, in college, in the springtime — I'd hate to see how much stress you're going to have when you're in the work world.

You know who doesn't have nice legs? Me. My legs are pasty, and I consistently get made fun of for my horrible inability to grow hair on them. But if I had nice legs, I'd be wearing bike shorts today. Everyone has gifts. Mine is being the best college newspaper columnist in the world. I share it with you every Wednesday. If yours is a set of legs that goes on for days, then this is the day we appreciate you.

It's your day in the sun. It's my day in the sun. It's all of our days in the sun. It's the best day. It's Skirt Day. Enjoy it. I know I am.

Rob Gindes is a senior journalism major. He can be reached at gindes at umdbk dot com.