Staying positive

About 130 students left the Memorial Chapel last night with the same three words running through their minds: "I am enough."

For nearly two hours, they soaked up the empowering message of Scott Fried, an HIV-positive man who has dedicated his life to speaking out about the disease he contracted about 23 years ago. But Fried said he hasn't allowed the virus to dictate how he lives his life.

Instead, it's his motivation for spreading the message of self-love that he wishes he had internalized years earlier. Fried repeatedly told audience members to "believe that [you] are enough," an idea that formed the basis of his speech.

The event was co-sponsored by sorority Sigma Delta Tau, fraternity Alpha Epsilon Pi, Pride Alliance, Student Entertainment Events and Pepsi and was organized by sophomore hearing and speech sciences major Rachel Friedman, a member of the sorority. She said she wanted to invite Fried after hearing testimonials from her sorority sisters who heard him speak when he first visited the campus in 2001.

Fried shared the terrifying journey that led him to contract HIV after having unprotected sex multiple times with a single partner while living in New York City.

"I would lie there and say, ‘Make it hurt,'" he said. "I wouldn't tell a soul what I was doing, and I wouldn't even tell myself. Somewhere in that month while I was systematically diminishing, I contracted HIV."

Fried said he understands his mistake in not using protection but said that error is not what he regrets most nor is it the reason he's devoted his life to telling his story.

"The mistake wasn't not using a condom," said Fried. "I didn't love myself enough to use the condom — that was the mistake I made. ... that was me not loving myself."

His speech was centered around the idea of stopping to evaluate life's misfortunes instead of just suppressing them. He encouraged audience members to embrace their emotions and use them as a vehicle for self-discovery.

"When life hurts, here's an option — you let it hurt," said Fried. "Feel your feelings. In some way ... it's some kind of inauguration, some kind of annointment."

When asked if it is hard to deal with the stigma the virus carries, Fried said he never feels discriminated against.

"I'm just your mirror. If you see something you don't like, it's in you," he said. "It's not that you don't have sex with people who have HIV, it's that you don't have sex with people who tell you they have HIV."

Fried also cleared up popular myths about the disease and listed the ways it can be contracted: through blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk.

Several students in the crowd said his speech illuminated facts about the disease they were unaware of and that they were held captive by his openness and relatability.

"I don't know what to say; I'm speechless," sophomore marketing major Rebecca Brown said after the event. "I think everybody should hear him speak. It will give people more of an open mind about homosexual people and people with HIV."

Sophomore accounting major Jenny Feingertz said Fried's speech highlighted an important issue among college students she said can't be ignored.

"I think that people tend to forget about the issue of HIV and AIDS, and it's something ... college kids need to be aware of," Feingertz said.

Fried ended the speech on a heartfelt note, encouraging everyone in the audience to take proper precautions during sex.

"I want you to stay alive," he said. "I want you to be safe. I want you to have it all, but I want you to be safe in order to have it all."

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